Wolfgang Wiebach's Light Musings on Heavy Subjects

    Ten Reasons Not To Vote

    The good people at NARFE (the National Association of Retired Federal Employees) printed in their publication NARFE Retirement Life of Nov. 2004 a list of 10 reasons to vote. It occured to me that it might be a useful mental exercise to write down ten reasons not to vote. So let's give it a try:

1. Of all the names on the ballot, I am familiar only with those of the presidential candidates and perhaps (but just a little) with those for the two or three positions that are up for grabs in the Washington Congress. Of all the others, I only know that they are living fat and happy on taxpayers' expense and are responsible for all those nuisance laws, such as the fixed milk price and the occupancy tax and the yearly auto inspection in Pennsylvania, and that they won't raise the speed limits. There is no point to blindly vote for any of them.
2. Of the major candidates, neither one of them stands for all the policies that I believe in.

3. Conversely, each one of the major candidates promotes some measures that I am opposed to.

4. Once in office, they don't necessarily carry out what they said they would, particularly the good stuff.

5. But they may come up with something bad that they never mentioned before the election. If I didn't vote, I don't need to kick myself for having voted for the stupid s.o.b.

6. My voice for a congressional candidate is but one of very many, and his voice in congress is but one of quite a few others; hence my vote is diluted like a homeopathic tincture. Furthermore, all the better legislation is stuck in a comittee anyway, so that even a majority of representatives can't do anything about it.

7. For the benefit of my own mental health, I must believe to be a person of superior intelligence and common sense combined with a thorough knowledge of the ways of the world. That such a person has but the same single vote as any bonehead - is an insult.

8. That I, a heavy taxpayer, have but the same single vote as any penniless student, perpetually unemployed bum and eternal welfare recipient - is both unfair and silly.

9. That I as a U.S. citizen have generally no way to vote the way it would count and give satisfaction - namely to vote directly on the issues as they come up - makes me mad every time I think about it.
10. Last but not least, if I register to vote, I will be called up for jury duty; and that at a time when it is most inconvenient; and then I won't even be selected due to the ridiculous indulgence afforded defense attorneys in regard to rejecting jurors.

Ten reasons, right? Ten good reasons, yes? And see, it wasn't much of a challenge at all.